The pain I had endured when the physio had led me through them at the hospital was not something I voluntarily wanted to put myself through, but I was certain that my mother, if not my sister too, would make sure I did the exercises.As it was I was able to reach out and handle things, picking up a light cup of water, barely, so my mother settled me in at home then left to work the last couple of hours of the day. I watched a bit of telly and gently clenched and unclenched my hands using the squash ball my mother had stopped to buy for me.My sister returned home from school only a few minutes after my mother had left. I looked at her now. Desperately I wanted to hold that wonderful slim body in my arms, and play with it as much as I could. She looked at me and I’m absolutely certain that she wanted the same thing, but instead of coming to sit with me she disappeared to her room.I felt rejected, but stayed in the living room not wanting to go to my sisters room and talk to her. . ****I don't know if I've mentioned this, Diary, but I love to read,especially science fiction. My favorite authors are Issac Asimov and RayBradbury. The only bad part is occasionally, I'll read something that makes methink of my gender stuff, and then I have to stop and fight with theminstead of being able to enjoy the story.****I've been doing a little bit of thinking, Diary. I've got this idea fora story where this kid wishes everyone would go away, and then wakes upto find himself alone in the world. Maybe I'll actually be able to writeit down, that would be cool.***My brother has to go back to Canada, since he's now graduated. I'm goingto miss him terribly.****We're moving back to Canada. Denver has been okay, but I miss home. Notthat I fit in there, either, but I don't know, its just better.Meanwhile, the gender stuff is getting so bad I honestly don't know howto handle it. The only way I can describe it is to compare it to that"Alien" movie. I can feel HER pushing from inside.
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